Hey everyone! 

I hope everyone in the UK enjoyed the gorgeous weather we all had yesterday? Meant to be even better today… Keep your sun cream topped up and your water by your side🙊

I can’t talk for the sun cream, I am burnt to a crisp. On the upside I did continue to drink water all day! — Proud of myself.

Anyways, so where did I leave off from my last blog?

So I wasn’t what you’d call ‘normal’ either. I looked at things from a different perspective that most. I just got on with my life. I had my first boyfriend, we lasted for 9 months. I thought I was really cool because he was a year older, but turned out to be a rather controlling pig. Then I moved away from the drama to live with my Nanny Sheila. Came home and after a few weeks I had my second boyfriend. We were together on and off 6 years!!! We shared some great memories, hard times, bad times and the worst times together. He cheated on me and I cheated on him out of revenge.

He left me and I left him for other people, but we ended getting back together. We didn’t talk for a really long time. Until the other day actually when he watsapped me😅😅 But we are sort of on speaking terms, a ‘hey’ here and there. So that was him.

After we split for one of the 1000 times, I found someone else and we dated for a fair few months too. But just like my first boyfriend, he was a controlling pig. Looked like a pig too!😅 So we split up because my brother had been in an accident on his motorbike an broke his collarbone. And I was accused of not wanting to spend time with him. #DICK

Now I’m going to bring up a topic, that is 1000% true. I’m not making this up. And I am going to write it all very briefly because it’s a part of my life I do want to re write. 

After him I got back with the ‘off again, on again’ boy. We dated for a few months before it ended. Anyway before it ended, I was on my waye back to work after a lunch break. I went home to visit my mum. I drove my little Yamaha Majestic 125. She was a beautiful bike, maroon colour and heavy for me, the amount of times I dropped her is a joke💪 So yeah, I was driving back to my work, I was about half a mile away from where it was. (Not putting the exact address for personal safety!)😑 

And I was cut up by some stupid blue, jeep thing. It had a white roof and the first digits of the number plate where a log the line of ‘W654’ or something such as that. I know it startedont with W6. So I beeped my horn as you do. He really did nearly cause a death. If he had of hit me. I’m sure I would of been dead. It was a 40/60mph road.

So I’m behind this jeep following it to the round about. Not intentionally I might add, I needed the roundabout to get to work. And before we hit the bus stop I see a gun being pointed at me by the passenger window. I slowed down so much! The merc behind me must of thought something was wrong with my bike LOL. So i had to keep driving I couldn’t just pull over, I was a car or 2 length back because I was so scared. I’d just seen a gun being pointed at me, then they pull it out again. That was it then I just burst into a full blown panic attack.

Justhe before the roundabout there was a bus stop, I pulled in there quickly to see if they were going the same direction as me. I could just make out here stupid white roof, but thankfully they went a different way. I managed to get to the road leading to work, I pulled over and the shock took over. I called my boyfriend ‘on&off’ that’s what we will call him. I went into hysterics, couldn’t stop crying. I didnt know what to do. He told me to stay put, so I did, just crying to myself. I saw one of my work colleagues drive past and look at me, bearing in mind I was crying and shaking at the side of the road with my bike parked up! He just went straight past me and text me 5 minuets later. Asking if I was alright! I wanted to scream at him, instead I ignored him.

Anyways on&off turned up just after receiving the text. He only lived like 3-4 minute drive away from my work. He was so helpful. He called the police and calmed me down. I was so scared to get back on my bike to go home. He had to reassure me. We went a long way back to my house. I don’t 10mph the whole way home. That’s no joke. At all. 

I said I’d keep this short and I haven’t done that we’ll at keeping it short. So the next bit is long story short, my company were completely disgusting and couldn’t care less what had happened. They laughed at me and said it was my fault for what I was dressed in. The police went to on&off agains home to get a statement, as I had to go back to work that same afternoon because my company were twats! 

It took them till 2 am the next morning to come and get a statement. So to be pulled out of bed that time in the morning, with work in the morning, they question me about it being a real gun! I flipped out.to this day, my exact words were and still are “How the f**k would I know if it were real? I didn’t get up close enough to find out!!” Anyways they didn’t take a statement, they said they’d look at cctv as there were some where the incident happened, but I’ve heard nothing since. 

It’s been 3 years in June.😠😠😠

It’s been such a tough tough 3 years for me. I can’t even explain, I left my job, I got PTSD. I developed severe depression and anxiety. I ended up in hospital, I lost family and friends. I was completely alone and I had completely hit rock bottom.

The above will be explained in the next blog! I don’t want to bore you all too much. I want to share this experience because it may help me deal with it better than what I had been. I may be able to help someone else who’s been through or going through something similar?

Anyway, I’m glad I got to get it out even though, it was a little longer than anticipated. Just a *DECLARATION*; this is a true story. The events in this blog are completely true and 10000% happened in my life. 

You all know where to find me, if you need a chat. Remember, SUNCREAM!!!!

Gem!x

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